A little ditty received from Dave at 12:56am

"Snow snow snow bad for a man from the land of the sand."

I wander how many ciders were consumed in order to create that beautiful sonnet. An obvious nod to Alan's Far eastern origins :)

Dave had a few drinks yesterday....

Dave just sent me the following....

"I was so hammered on the train home I was like Dan Akaroyd on the train when he is dressed as santa in Trading Places. There was a girl 0ne along from me she was all green even her hair was green I turned to her and said 'Are you 'hic' an elf? Please can u wake me up at farnborough."

a totally unrelated video.

Please Note :- Any persons herein depicted in this video bear no resemblance to anyone featured in this blog. WARNING :- contains offensive language. Wear some headphones!

edit:- deleted as I am hoping to resurrect this and don't want to give anybody away. xxx

contrast problems

Have decided to temporarily resurrect this blog at a friends request.

Dave was around (I have since been moved to another office). I told him a user had logged a call about a contrast problem with their monitor......

Dave " Lets go and punch him in the nose and then when he asks why I did it I can say 'well the tears welling up in your eyes will soften the screen and it will look a lot better.'

the users are revolting again

A user has sent Dave a link to an article about the 'the deadly dangers of printers being in your proximity'.

Dave "Do you know what can be even more deadly? Me sticking a big spike in his eye."

I think staying up til 2am drinking Arak on a school night helps Dave to lose his normally benevolent nature.

that accountant again......

Our accountant came in to see us last Friday. After talking to a colleague for five minutes he turned to him and said "Who are you again?". The words of a total genius. Dave had something positive to say about the situation...

Dave:- "Well that's it then... We're all going to prison to be f**ked in the arse by Mr T. I don't mind giving but I'm certainly don't want to be receiving."

and then moments later...

"There is a solution to all this you know. We kill the accountant and burn his house down and then all our accounts will be destroyed."

always look on the bright side....

 Dave:- "I reckon our umbrella company will go bust at xmas and we won't get  paid and then we'll have to go and see the head of I.T and ram a cd into his Trachea."